Preteen Edge

Switching blog hosts...

2007-06-08T10:22:00.000-05:00

For those of you that read this blog - I want you to be aware that I am in the process of switching blog hosts. You can find this blog now at www.preteenedge.wordpress.com

The reason for the switch has nothing to do with Blogger. I have been very happy with this host, but for other reasons I must switch blog hosts. I will maintain this blog only for a little while longer.

Joe

Transitions...

2007-06-05T13:32:00.000-05:00

When I think about transitions, I think about the picture on this post... This is a picture of my cousin and myself (I'm the one in the orange shirt getting hosed by the squirt-gun) having a water gun fight. What started as a simple and fun squirt-gun fight ended up being a serious game of strategy and purpose. In preteen ministry we must find the balance of making ministry to preteens simple and fun to something that is strategic and with purpose. The tricky part is transitioning from one mindset to the other, because it is easy to loose one mindset for the other. In the squirt-gun fight, my cousin and I shifted gears so fast that we totally lost focus of what we originally set out to do (That was shoot at our kids). When we got serious I lost interest, because I wasn't ready for serious strategy and such. He lost interest, because I didn't want to have a serious outlook to what we were doing. Our transition from one extreme to next was all messed-up, so we lost interest and quit. This happens too many preteens when it comes to their walk with God and their interest and involvement in church. This is why one of the keywords that is the backdrop, motivation and driving force for preteen ministry is "TRANSITION."

While a big part of preteen ministry is focused on reaching preteens where they are currently at, a lot of what happens in preteen ministry is geared towards preparing kids for the next level, whether that is preparing them for the 6th grade ministry, Jr. high/Middle school ministry, the student ministry, or preparing them to leave elementary ministry and enter into preteen ministry (This all depends on how your church is structured by grading and grouping). The reason for this is that the preteen years are by nature a transitional time in a person's life: puberty starts to take transformation in many preteens lives (Yes, this includes the smelly odors and such). The way preteens start to think is also beginning to transform, such as from concrete thinking to abstract thinking. Emotionally and spiritually, preteens begin to transform their thinking about the opposite genders, friends, and God in more serious ways than before. What's funny is that I have had some people tell me that not all preteens begin to show or demonstrate these changes. However, that is the funny nature of preteens - they are all over the place, they are all at many different transitional starting points in life!

Research has shown that poor transition leads to many kids not connecting with key relationships or the identity of the ministry at the next level they are entering into. What this means is that they will eventually fade from that ministry and most likely loose their connection with God. What we must do as leaders is make transition for preteens, who are both entering in our ministries and exiting our ministries, purposeful, intentional, and exciting (ie... full of anticipation). Over the next couple of blogs, I will shown you what we do at my church, I will show you what others are doing, and I will give you ideas on what you can do in your situation. Please feel free to chime in on this discussion - which is so important to preteen ministry.

Joe

The Best Preteen Event Around!

2007-05-23T15:44:00.000-05:00

This is the best preteen event around (I think it is the only one). I have been to this event three times and had a blast each time (They change the theme of the event each year). Both preteens and adults will love this event.

SuperStart is a two day themed event designed with the needs and interests of preteens. Preteens will experience three main sessions that are full of high-energy worship, interactive teaching, and small group time. On Saturday there is an off-site recreation time, called plug -N- play which was created to give preteens and their adult sponsors a time to build relationships.

What: SuperStart Preteen Event

Who: 4th, 5th, and 6th graders and their parents, youth pastors, children's pastors, and volunteers.

When & Cost: See their website for this kind of information.

www.superstart456.com

Funny Things Preteens say...

2007-05-15T14:09:00.000-05:00

The other day my wife over heard my 11 year old son say something hilarious. He said, "A pack of paper - $1.99, pack of straws - $.99, spit-wade - priceless!" Apparently he said this after he spit a spit-wade at his sisters - what to do, what to do...

Then to top it all off, my 9 year old asked her older sister (Who is 13) if she wanted her fries. She said, "Angelica, do you want my fries - they come with free ketchup!" She will be a very successful salesperson some day.

Preteens - they sure keep a house full of laughter and life.

Joe

Purity Resource for Moms and Daughters

2007-05-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

Secret Keeper Girl promises to be one of the greatest tools contemporary moms have to connect with their 8-12 year old daughters, while at the same time teaching them vital truth about beauty in a world that bombards them with lies. But don't count on this Bible study to feel like homework! Secret Keeper Girl is the most fun you and your daughter will ever have digging into God's Word together. (Think: facials, tea parties, shopping challenges.)

I have not, nor has my wife personally used these Ideas with any of our daughters, but one of the ladies that is in charge of our 5th and 6th grade girls purity retreat has , and she says that she really enjoyed doing this with her daughter.

Joe

Purity Resource for Parents & their Preteens / Preteen Workers

2007-05-04T16:46:00.000-05:00

Passport2Purity is a resource to help parents prepare their preteens for sexual purity. It will help them connect with their preteen during a fun, interactive weekend retreat! This exciting, guided weekend for father and son or mother and daughter will prepare their preteen for physical changes to come, preempt peer pressure, and establish biblical principles on sex and dating. They will have the opportunity to connect with their son or daughter in a deeper way, create a heart-to-heart time for some of life's most intimate issues, and help their child decide in advance what his or her convictions will be, based on God's word.

This is a resource that I have available for our preteen families to check out and use. My wife and I have used it with our oldest daughter (She is in jr. high now) and several other people I know have used it and highly recommend it!

CLICK ON PICTURE FOR AMAZON.COM LINK.

Joe

A COOL BIBLE FOR PRETEENS

2007-04-17T14:22:00.000-05:00

Is this what you've been lookin for?

If you have been looking for a Bible to recommend to your preteens and parents, or if you have been looking for a Bible to have for extras in your classroom - then this is the one for you!

It has a devotional plan, which takes preteens through the Bible. It also has really cool graphics throughout the Bible, which are not boring or cheesy. Whats more, it is designed with the preteen in mind. My 10 year old son loves to use it and he likes to read all the extra content on the sidebars (He also reads the main content :) )

Book Description
Discover life “on the edge”—that exciting time between childhood and adolescence (a.k.a. the tween years). The Edge Devotional Bible is packed with great stuff just for tweens. This Bible brings the wisdom of the Bible right into the real world of today.
Check out what’s inside:
· 260 Daily Devotions by Mark Littleton and Marnie Wooding
· 52 Weekend Devotions by Sandy Silverthorne
· Power Thoughts highlight important themes and help readers see how the Bible fits together
· Line Art Sketches throughout for a "newspaper comics" appeal
· Five characters—Jenna, Josh, Miguel, Sam, and Kaitlyn participate in the devotions (and also appear as line art sketches) to help kids relate to the Bible passages
· Full Text of God’s Word in the best-selling New International Version®
· 22 Full-color Tip-in pages
Get the inside edge on God’s Word for tweens with The Edge Devotional Bible.

I searched far and wide for the right Bible for my preteen ministry and this one has really fulfilled what I needed. I recommend it for anyone looking for a Bible that they can recommend to preteens or have as extras in their classrooms.

(Click on the picture and it will take you to the amazon.com page for this Bible)

Joe

Snacks Anyone?

2007-04-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

Do you find it difficult to always provide snacks for you preteens on Sunday or during midweek programming? Well here is a possible solution for you: We got to a point that we could no longer continue providing snacks for about 100 5th and 6th graders on Sunday morning or half of that number during our midweek programming. So we came up with the idea called "The Stand!" This is our snack bar where preteens can buys snacks at a really low cost - nothing is over .50 and most things are .25! We sell healthy snacks, junk food snacks, bottled water, Coolaid Jammers, and soda pop (Nothing with caffeine!). Kids are not aloud to spend more than a dollar and if they did not finish their snack before large group starts, they have to put it away and save it for later.

All profits (Believe me, even with our prices so low, we still make money) go back into replenishing the stock of snack foods and our preteen ministry t-shirts. We also give some of the profit to missionaries that our preteen ministry supports. I have not lost money, because this ministry pays for itself (It is a ministry, because when we feed our kids, it is meeting a felt need of theirs)! Plus, giving away free trips to "The Stand" also serves as a great give-away or raffle item!

A MUST READ!

2007-04-07T17:20:00.000-05:00

This book a must read for single-parent mom of boys and for anyone who works with preteen boys that live in single-parent-mom house. In this book, author Donald Miller, reflects on his own life of growing-up with out a dad. He talks candidly about the effects it had on him and the struggles and trials that he has gone through.

Many people do not understand the power and effect of having an involved dad can have on a young man. When I was in undergraduate school, I remember hearing in one of my counseling classes, my professor make a statement that the father is the filter of the home. The father is the one who controls what words are used, what entertainment is aloud in the home, and etc... What he was essentially saying is that the father is the one who will ultimately dictate what the morals and values will be in the home - and when the father's morals and values are out of whack or absent, the kids (Especially boys)will also take the shape or lack-of-shape as that of the father's.

This book will help you be prepared to better help your son, or the young man that you minister to. It will help you understand his thought process and decision making and it will help you understand his heart! I stumbled upon this book last year and read it in a couple of days. It made me laugh and it made me bawl my eyes out (People who know me, know that I don't cry easily). My wife also read it with me and said that through this book, she can understand me better. This book has helped me on my own personal journey and has also helped me in my ministry. I am deeply grateful for Donald Miller writing this book...

I must add hear that my senior minister at the church I minister at told me that we must remember that just because there is a dad in the house doesn't necessarily mean that he is there.

Joe

Stats to think about...

2007-04-05T15:14:00.000-05:00

Preteen Culture Stats:

- 73% of kids between the ages of 8 to 12 years old have internet as favorite media medium. (Barna, 23)
- Kids between the ages of 8 to 12 years old intake about 48 hours a week of mass media. (Barna, 23)

Preteen Spiritual Stats:

- Barna and sociologists have discovered that the moral and spiritual foundations are generally determined by age 9. (Barna, 47)
- Barna discovered that the probability of someone embracing Jesus as his/her Savior was:
32% between the ages of 5 and 12
4% between the ages of 13 to 18
6% between the ages of 19 or older

In other words, if people do not embrace Jesus Christ as their Savior before their teen years, the chances of doing so at all is slim. (Barna, 34)
(All material taken from George Barna's book "Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions")

Can anyone say "Preteen Ministry!"

Joe

2007-03-14T21:24:00.000-05:00

Preteen Ministry Resource Website

WWW.PRETEENEDGE.COM is finally up and running. It has taken me a while to work on it, but I have had my hands full! I have posted four years worth of preteen ministry information on this site - from curriculum, books, parent helps, and other stuff.

Please take some time and check it out. Let me know if it was helpful to you. Also tell me about your resources and ideas that you use. I will be glad to share with others!

Joe

2007-03-09T16:17:00.000-06:00

THE BOOKS ARE FINALLY HERE!

Last August, about six of us, people who work with preteens, gathered together at Group publishing (At the invitation of Group) and for four days we participated in a Preteen Think Tank. As a result of that meeting, we contributed to the publishing of three books about preteen ministry. These books are packaged together to form what Group calls "Preteen Launchable kit".

I must say, that this is a tremendous resource for helping people not only think about preteens and preteen ministry, but it an awesome guide in helping you begin and establish your preteen ministry. Plus, I personally know all the authors and I know one of them really well...LOL... Seriously though - if you are looking for a great resource to help you begin a preteen ministry, or if you need some fresh ideas, you should check out this kit. I must add here that I DO NOT get royalties from the sale of these books, so this is not my motivation for you to buy this resource. Everyone who contributed to these books really know a lot about preteens and preteen ministry.

Here is a brief description of what you will find in "Preteen Launchables."

Propel Your Preteens on an Unending Journey of Faith!

Whether you’re launching a new preteen ministry or refueling a current program, here’s everything you need to…

Understand how God wired your preteens – socially, spiritually, intellectually, physically, and emotionally

Connect with preteens – through great games, slammin’ service ideas, wow worship, powerful parent involvement, rockin’ retreats, and exciting events!

Plan to succeed with preteens – sure-fire, practical ministry solutions – including igniting to right vision, recruiting the right team, sharing the right message, and so much more!

Kit includes:

3 mini-books packed with tons of expert advice
3 discussion-starter game pieces--complete with 20 ideas for engaging discussion starters
70 proven ideas
100's of insights
2 BONUS volunteer training sessions
And much more

Joe

2006-11-18T18:21:00.000-06:00

PART 3

Three strategies critical to preteens' spiritual development...

(She gave us a list of important topics pertaining to the spiritual development of preteen and asked us to answer only three - here is the first of three that I answered)

Bible Teaching:

Preteens learn at a whole other level than younger kids and older teens. Preteens have the ability to learn and take God’s word to a deeper level – they can grasp some of the more abstract concepts of the Bible, but only to certain points. They are still limited on understanding and applying levels of the tangibility of God’s word. For instance, they know and understand the story of Moses, the deliverance of the Hebrews out of Egypt, and the Passover. They understand that this was a necessary part of the biblical story and they can even see how it fits into God’s bigger plan in the Bible. What they might struggle with is how this concrete, but also abstract concept fits into their daily life as they learn to follow God. Yet they want to know how to connect it to their lives, because they can sense that there is a deeper meaning for them. However, not all preteens are ready to physically or emotionally practice the biblical truth at levels like Jr. High age kids.

The day and age of asking 5th grade boys (And girls for that matter) to sit still and listen for an hour, while the teacher lectures them about a whole lot of Bible information is over! Preteens need to have interaction more than any other age group. They need to use all their senses to help them learn and grasp God’s word. Preteens also need to have fun and be physically active while they learn – they can become easily disinterested in what you are trying to teach them if they find that it has no relevance to their situation in life. Preteens need and want more than knowledge, they want someone to teach them how to move that knowledge to wisdom (Knowledge is information and Wisdom is that information moved to application). However, preteens still need to wrestle through and be reminded of the basics of faith issues as well.

Preteens need know information about the Bible, but what is even more important to them - they need to be taught how to put the Bible into practice.

Joe

2006-11-01T20:45:00.000-06:00

Here is the continuation of last weeks blog:

What's unique now that wasn't 10 years ago that require new strategies for reaching preteens?

In the ten years that I have been in youth ministry and children’s ministry, I have noticed that the problems and issues which faced Jr. High kids, are now placed upon preteens. The preteens that I minister too, are dealing with social issues that Jr. High and some Senior High youth dealt with ten years ago. They are struggling with issues like drugs and alcohol, sex, more mature boyfriend/girlfriend issues, unhealthy friendships that deeply effect them, materialism (Preteens have the most spendable income than any other age group), and others. For instance, when I was ten years old, my parents got a divorce – I was pretty much kept out of the loop and struggled with issues that dealt with trivial stuff about my parents divorce. Preteens now are confronted with the raw issues of their parents divorce, they are in the heat of custody battles and are asked about who they want to live with, they know if their parent was having an affair and they even know what that means. The bottom-line is that preteens are pushed by society, their families, their schools, and their churches to rapidly grow-up.

These new issues that preteens are facing, will not be met in the lower elementary ministry areas. Children's Ministers deal with a large age range, which naturally makes for reaching targeted age groups difficult when they are combined with each other. Kindergarteners and sixth graders are worlds about in several ways - physically, emotionally, intelectually, and especially spiritually. And the same can be said when comparing 5th graders to 8th graders. We need new strategies, because this age group has needs that have specific felt needs and spiritual needs that can only be met in targeted and focused ministries.

Joe

2006-10-27T15:42:00.000-05:00

IDEAS ON PRETEEN MINISTRY

About a week ago six of us (People who work with preteens) were asked by a children's ministry magazine editor for some help. She asked us if we would help her with her article about preteen ministry, by answering a few questions. I thought it would be a good idea to post my answers to her questions on this blog over the next several weeks.

Thanks
Joe

Here is the first question:

Why do preteens need a separate ministry--apart from children's and youth ministries?

Preteens are different, they are not like the other elementary kids, nor are they like the Jr. High kids. Preteens embrace many of the characteristics of both the lower-elementary world and the Jr. High world. It’s like the exercise that a marriage counselor’s use when describing the oneness of marriage: they take a piece of blue playdoo and a piece of red playdoo and when molded together they become the color purple. The two combined together, become a whole other entity of their own. Its the same way with preteens – you take a piece of lower elementary kids and a piece of Jr. High kids and when you smoosh them together you get preteens!

Preteens are physically, intellectually, and emotionally different that lower-elementary kids and Jr. High kids. What’s more is that preteens seem to be in a more unique spiritual situation than the other age groups. Like the other areas mentioned, preteens are in transition spiritually – As a whole, they are no longer satisfied with the basics of the Christian faith. Just knowing about Moses and the crossing of the Red Sea is not enough for them. They want to know what that means for them. The Harvest is ripe for this group! They understand what is being asked of them and they are ready to take the plunge in being a follower of Jesus. And contrary to their older Jr. High friends, they haven’t been completely afflicted with the “What’s cool” factor yet. So they more readily want to participate in church activities. They are more willing to invite their friends and not feel embarrassed or guilty about it. Furthermore, their age allows them to do more things by themselves than their younger siblings, meaning parents are more willing to let their preteen(s) go on longer church trips, stay over night at retreats, come to youth group on a week nights, and etc... On the flip side though, parents are still involved in their preteen’s life.

What this means is that preteens need to be ministered to at a different level than that of the other age groups. Their needs and their parents needs are different than lower-elementary and Jr. High needs. They need curriculum that meets their intellectual levels, they need large group activities that meet their physical levels, and they need spiritual experiences that take them to a deeper level as they travel down the path with God. This cannot be accomplished effectively by the children’s department, which is busy trying to meet the needs of of parents and families of the vast age gap of babies, preschoolers, and K – 4th graders. And student ministries also are dealing with vast age gaps between 7th graders and 12th graders (Some student ministries also include college age students). Preteens are unique and need a unique ministry to help them go to the next stage of their spiritual walk.

2006-09-22T18:45:00.000-05:00

THE ANATOMY OF KILLING A WASP

One day a friend called and asked if I would come over and kill a wasp that was flying all crazy in her house. Her husband was at work and she was afraid to be in her house, so my wife and I got in our car and drove to her house.

When we got there, I noticed that her nephew was there, I not sure how old he is, but what I noticed was that he was eager to come in the house with me and hunt down the wasp and kill it. Of course his aunt would not let him, but he wanted to any ways.

You know - many times preteens want to be and have the potential to be mature Christians that have the ability to slay the wasps in their life, but adults stop them and don't let them in the house to learn the killing skills they need to slay the things that are trying to take them down and away from God!

At the church I minister at, I know that we are dedicated to give our preteens the "killing skills" to follow God and become all that God created them to be.

Joe

2006-09-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

SOCCER ANYONE!

It was anyone's game, both teams exchanging goals, one right after the other. Elbows were flying, hard kicks were connecting too both, shins and the ball. Oxygen was in short supply and sweat ran off the combatants like a roaring river. The battle was intense as contestants from both teams jockeyed for postion and the victory!What's more, this fiercely fought match went down to the wire.

No! I am not talking about a match-up from the World Cup of Soccer, nor am I talking about some Major League Soccer game! Instead, I am talking about "The Edge", the youth soccer team that Christ's Church of Oronogo sponsors and the hard fought soccer game that they played yesterday at King Jack Park in Webb City, MO. Our preteen ministry came about sponsoring a team, when "The Bridge" (A unique skateboard ministry that reaches out to youth and others) contacted out Children's Ministry about sponsoring a team in their newly started youth soccer league. Our ministry is going to sponsor pre-K team, a K-4th grade team and our preteen (5th-6th grade) ministry is doing so as well (Thus, the team name "The Edge"). When the opportunity came for us to help support our community, we were more than willing. This opportunity not only gives us a chance to love and encourage some of our kids and their families outside of church, but it also helps us reach out and connect with families that we do not know. We also tell the kids in our ministry to go out and support out team.

What does your preteen ministry do to get involved in your community? Post your ideas and I will post them in a blog.

Joe

2006-09-01T17:00:00.000-05:00

ALONG FOR THE RIDE...

One of the things that is a part of my responsibilities at the church that I minister at, is to help out in the Jr. High ministry in some capacity, or basically make sure that our out going 6th graders are making a good transition from our preteen ministry into our student ministry. For me, it means that I have a really good relationship with our Jr. High minister, or that basically "He is my best friend on staff". Fortunately, him and I get along really well. Matt is a top notch guy, who is doing great things for our Jr. High kids. The other thing that I do is get involved in some way with our Jr. High ministry.

This past month, my event that I go on with our Jr. High group as a sponsor is a week long service project event called KNOW SWEAT. I attend this event for three reasons:

1. I go to help be a positive presence for our out going 6th graders/new 7th graders, by helping be a familiar figure, as well as help them transition well.

2. I go to help build my relationship with our Jr. High minister and check-up on our new 8th graders (Which are former preteen ministry kids).

3. I go to help, because it helps me measure and gage all the things we did for the past two years with these former preteens, by observing our former 6th graders in situations that call on them to be leadrs and to act more mature.

I do this with all intentionality, what do you do to help you measure the growth of your preteens?

Joe

2006-09-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

IS IT CRAZY OR WHAT?

I has been a crazy month for me. I was gone for almost three weeks straight and when I came back, not only did my family miss me, but the ministry did as well!

I want to tell all of you out there who minister and work with preteens, that help is on it's way! Two of the reasons why I was gone for so long , was that I went to lead some workshops on preteen ministry at a ministry conference and then I went to meet with other preteen ministers from around the country and brainstorm ideas about and for preteens and preteen ministry. However, before I talk about what we did, I want to tell you about some things that I learned and affirmed in our meeting:

1. Preteens are the most important ministry age group in our churches:

- They are the most impressionable, meaning they can be influenced and are ready to make life changing decisions (Look at marketing groups, terrorist groups, media groups, and etc... All these groups seek to fill their numbers by targeting this age group).

2. The harvest is ripe at this age! I believe Barna says that 40% of the people that make decisions for Jesus are between the ages of 9-14 years of age. I think he is wrong, I think the percentage is higher.

3. They have been negelected in our churches (For what ever reasons)!

4. The exsiting curriculum out there is not very good (However there is some stuff that is useful)!

5. This age group is being forced to mature at a faster rate than any other age group and at any other time in history (This is being forced by both media, schools, parents, culture, and etc...)!

Now this is what we did! Primarily nine of us from around the country, five from church ministies, one from a para-church organization, and three from a well respected publishing company, got together and talked shop (We talked about preteens and preteen ministry). Out of this meeting, we produced three books on preteens and preteen ministry and helped consult a little bit on the curriculum that the publishing company is going to produce.

Now I can't get into details or tell you exactly when this is going to all hit the bookshelves, but I can say that it will be soon! I even wish I could tell you the publishing company's name, but I can't. Just hang in there, it will happen soon!

Joe

2006-07-26T19:28:00.000-05:00

Knowing the Who, What, and Why of Your Preteen Ministry

Over the next three days, I will be leading some workshops about preteen ministry at a ministry conference. One of the areas that I will touch on is having a vision for preteen ministry.

I would like to hear about the vision that you have for your preteen ministry. Let me know why your preteen ministry exist - I bet most of us will have similar visions!

Joe

2006-07-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

So I took a jump - this is a really big jump. I have been dreaming of doing something like this for about 5 years now. It is a really big jump for me, because I am not that computer and website savvy. I have decided to create a website that will serve two purposes or more (?). One is to serve as a ParentConnect Page for our preteen ministry. The other is to serve as a very indepth resource site for people who ministry to preteens.There is not a whole lot on there now, but hopefully there will be soon. If you have any ideas or resources that you know of or are using, please let me know at the e-mail on the website. Thanks...

The website is www.preteenedge.com

Joe

2006-07-12T09:44:00.000-05:00

“Loose lips sink ships” -Vs- “The lips of the righteous nourish many”

There is an old saying from one of the past great wars that went something like this, “Loose lips sink ships.” Essentially what they were saying is that careless words can cost the lives of people, so we need to use our words with caution. This is also true with those of us who work with children and youth, both figuratively and literally. I like to say that the words we use can either bring about life, or they can bring about death. We never know what effect the words we use have on people, especially on the children that we minister too.

I was confronted with this fact one Sunday morning. A former student from my ministry wrote me a card, thanking me for all the kind and encouraging words that I passed her way whenever she was in and around our ministry. She said that whenever she came to church or our preteen ministry events, everyone always spoke kindly to her and used words of love, acceptance, and encouragement towards her – she said that she always felt closer to God when she was around us. You see, Summer does not have a good home life, in fact the few times that I had gone to her home, I could hear the harsh words and tones that she experienced. At home, she never heard words that would bring life to her soul, instead she heard words that crushed her spirit and made her feel insignificant and unwanted; in a sense they brought her death. However, when Summer came around our preteen ministry staff, she heard words that nourished her soul and uplifted her spirit. She came to know that God loves her and created her with significance and purpose - God’s word brought her life!

There was another lesson to be had that day. That Sunday evening as my family and I were winding down from another busy Sunday, I walked into my youngest daughter’s bedroom and I observed that her room was a mess and not just any ordinary mess. It was the type of mess that only an eight-year-old girl, who is full of life and wonder, can create. As she sat there in a pile of crumbled-up pieces of paper, dutifully working on another masterpiece – I told her in a stern voice that her room was a pigsty and that pigs only live in them. She looked up at me with crocodile tears forming in her eyes and on her cheeks and she said to me through sobs, “Daddy, if I’m a pig, does this mean that you do not love me anymore.” My heart stopped and I grabbed her in my arms and told her that I was wrong for saying those words to her and that I loved her. That day I learned all to well that “Loose lip can sink ships” and “The lips of the righteous nourish many.”

2006-06-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

Rated G - No Way!

Okay, here is the situation. Yesterday, in one our 5th grade boy's Sunday school class, we always have "What's the latest" discussion time at the beginning of class. Well for most of the fourteen 5th grade boys in room 5B, the latest was the movie "CARS". Several of the boys were excited about the movie and some of the boys said they hated it. Well I did care for a couple of the boys attitude when they said that, so I went on an investigative search of why they didn't like the movie CARS. After several questions, what I found out was that the boys who said they hated it, DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE MOVIE! The only reason why they did not like it, was because the movie was rated G and G ratings to these boys are not cool. However, when asked by their fearless preteen minister (me) if they liked such and such movie, the sais they did and that it was awesome and one of their favorite movies, until I reveiled it to them that it was rated G as well. Hmm, sometimes I can be a stinker because I used that moment as a teaching moment on "be slow to speak and quick to listen."

It seems coolness and peer presure are getting younger and younger!

Joe

2006-06-16T13:30:00.001-05:00

What I am learning...

Have you ever been in a situation where no ones has what you're looking for? Well I've been in that situation for a little over two years now (And longer if you count the years of ministry when I was over multiple grades)! No! This has nothing to do with lawn mowers, although I need one. What I'm talking about is curriculum for preteens! I can't seem to find anything out there that connects to preteens. I am not trying to be harsh to the the FEW curriculum writers and publishing houses that have attempted to produce something for preteens, it's just that most of it is either out of date, and therefore out of touch, or like most of us in the church world - trying to play catch-up to the trends and needs of culture and people, so we are behind.

What I am learning to do is to be a hardcore student of preteens and preteen culture. I have come up with some observations that most of us already know about preteens: Firstly, they love to be active, almost to a fault. Secondly, they love to talk, especially about themselves. They want to be known (The old - preteens are shy and unsure of themselves has went out the door for most of them. Thanks to parents and culture that tell them that they special). Thirdly, they want to and have to trust the adult who is their authority over them, therefore causing us to share about ourselves (They want to know our biography). Next, they want to and are capable of authentic faith (And this means in anything). And they want this authentic faith to make a difference in their lives and the world around them! There are several other things I have observed and there are many variables that come into play in these observations, however when we put them all together - what do we get, well we get craziness!

What we have done in our preteen ministry is to use as our foundation seven focused principles or teaching points, that we believe are vital in helping preteens establish their relationship with Christ, help them make a diference in the lives of the people around them, and help them grow in and experience their role in the church. The seven are: Authentic faith, Spiritual priorities, Moral boundries, Meaningful friendships, Wise choices, Others first, and God-given authority (these terms were taken from North Point Community Church's 6th grade ministry. Most of us have been using these seven points as guidlines, they just know how to word things). Ezzo, in his book "Preteen Wise" - says that we need to move preteens from obedient kids, to responsible kids. I like to say it this way - From kids who listen, to kids who do!

Joe

2006-06-12T13:59:00.000-05:00

PART 3 THE END

Okay, okay here it is! We have been conducting an Education Forum at the church I am on staff at, which included a few hand-pick staff members, whose job it was to rethink education churchwide. CCO is a decent size church (about 2300 people), so paradigms have shifted. Everything was on the chopping block, so to speak, and I mean everything! We were forced to take this measure, because even though we are in a somewhat rural setting, cultural has drastically changed. Even though culture is not as fast paced as it is in California (I am from the San Fransico Bay area, CA. I moved to southwest Missouri 5 years ago), it has become very rushed and busy, especially for families. Therefore, causing church events and programming to conflict or add to the other activities our families are involved in. Something has to change! We as a church want to build bridges to our community, but instead of wanting the community to cross over to us, we want to cross over to our community. In other words, we want our families to influence their neighbors, friends, and family members for Christ, by going into the community they are already involved in; whether it be at Little league practice, afterschool programs, soccer practice, etc... We can no longer expect people to pick our church activities over the other activities in their lives. They just aren't doing it! We are forced to simplify and narrow our focus!

I tell you all this to serve as a backdrop for the changes that are going to take place in our preteen ministry.

EVENTS
Preteens by nature are social cats (I hate cats, but love preteens). Most of my preteen ministry budget dollars are invested in the events category. We do alot of events for them, such as a fall retreat, a summer preteen road trip, Superstart, Believe, camp, and the list could go on. All of these events are very purposeful and have been successful, drawing large crowds and have brought about life change for some of our preteens. However, we don't need to do all of these events - So I am cutting some of the events out and redoing a couple of the others. In all we will do a total of four event, not including camp or our large summer outreach event (we do not do VBS). With this narrowed focus, we hope to be able to make the events that we do, more excellent and effective.

SUNDAYS
Are made for worship (haha)! Anyways, we did have programming for all three services. We did a computer lab during the first service, we did a more traditional Sunday school format the second hour, and then we had a preteen worship hour at our third hour service. Here is what we are doing and (already do in our preteen worship hour, during third service): We are going to no longer offer anything for preteens during the first hour (This means no more computer lab... Reasons why, will be discussed in another blog). We are moving in the direction of having two preteen worship services - one will be during the second hour (No more traditional Sunday school... Hate me all you want) and third hour services. Here is what they look like:

Each hour is sliced into four blocks:
The Hangout time 15 minutes- Students and leaders come into The Edge and hangout, playing foosball, air hockey, Game cubes, and catch up on what's been going in their lives.

The Connection time 15-20 minutes - Worship time (We use a live band). This is when preteens will here announcements, focus on the music aspect of worship, drama skits, video clips, and etc...

The Point time 10-15 minutes - This is the teaching time. A 10 to 15 minute sermon will introduce the point that we want our preteens to learn that week.

The So What time 15-20 minutes - This is small group time. This is where preteens will be divided by grade and gender to discuss the teaching point and how it applies to their world, but they will build community with each other, by talking about life in general and share what is going on in their lives with their small group friends and adult leaders.

The rest of the remaining time is hangout and wait for parent pick-up or released to meet parents.

For the sake of room, I will talk about Wednesday night programming in another blog. What I gave here, is programming and formating. I will also be blogging about philosophy, curriculum and reasons why we are doing things this way, later on.

Joe

2006-05-26T10:53:00.000-05:00

PART 2

In response to the question asked in the previous blog, our preteen ministry is going to take an approach of simplification. I like how Luke (the person who left a comment on the previous blog) used the word burden to describe the business that we strap to the backs of the people that we minister too. In a sense, a lot of our programs do become burdens to our people, because many times we make them feel guilty for choosing other functions over ours or they themselves feel guilty for not doing enough for God (There are many other reasons as well). Through all the business, people have a hard time of seeing a clear picture of the character of God and experiencing the glory of who He is and what he means to them! Can we bask in His glory, when we are busy doing?

I must state here, that I am not against programming, because programming helps us meet the felt needs of people (See Acts chapter 6). What I am saying, is that our programming needs to be more than just purposeful, it needs to be narrow focused and strategic. Simplification does not mean "dumbing down", it means to move away from doing a lot of things good or even really good, to doing a few things really well and with excellence.

What are you doing in your churches and other organizations to take the burdens of the backs of God's people, so they can bask in the Glory of God? (Part three, I will elaborate on what we are doing for our preteen ministry)

Joe

2006-05-23T09:58:00.000-05:00

PART 1

Why are families so busy these days? Why is it that we, the church, feel the need to create more programming, more events, and more business for our families? Do we think we can compete with world for the thing that is most precious to our families, and that being their time? The world is ready and already has invested everything it has to keep our people occupied and distracted. The world does things very well and with excellence, and they can because they take a "sky's the limit" approach.

Does this mean that the world is better than the church? No way! It means that the world knows the stakes are high and they are willing to do whatever it takes, in order to keep people away from from what matters most! And that is to seek God and love Him with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength. And to love our neighbor as yourself!

What should we, the church do about this?

Joe

2006-05-15T14:13:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you about the church I minister at and it's leadership - They are the best group of men that I have ever served under. Their foresight and insight is something to be admired. They are not afraid to take the jump when necesary, in order bring about change, but at the same time, they are men of prayer and caution! They are not satified with the "status quo," they want no stagnation; instead they want to honor God in all that they do and sometimes that means we stop doing what we are well, in order to do something new with excellence.

I say all this, because it was two years ago that they decided to invest time, energy, and resources to start a ministry to preteens (Actually, they started this a little before this time, but I came on two years ago as paid staff). They saw the need to ministry to preteens outside the traditional realm of Children's Ministry and they took the jump. If you haven't taken the jump to minister to preteens outside the traditional realm of Children's Ministry, then you need too! Contact me if you don't know where to start.

Keep it real in Christ,
Joe

2006-05-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

You ever go to a ministry training conference in another city and fall in love with that city - well I did. The city was Atlanta, Georgia (Alpharetta to be exact). Alpharette reminded me of home (San Fransico Bay Area, CA) . Not because the cities were exactly alike, Alpharetta isn't even near the ocean. No! It was the similarities that I felt in the atmosphere, the buzz, Starbucks being real close and the malls had a Gap store and more importantly, an Apple store. Similarities bring us comfort when we are in a new city, new house, new school, and new areas of ministry. For many preteens, leaving the Children's ministry that they have known for over four years or even for some, since they were a baby, can be exciting, but also very overwhelming. That is why those of us who minister to preteens, need to provide an atmosphere that is not only new and exciting, but also with some similarities from the old area of ministry they just came out of. We need to do this, so that we can help them make the transition from kiddieland to the world of preteens, and close the gap that so many of them fall into and never return!

Joe

2006-04-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

"Something old and something new" - have you ever really thought about this saying, especially when it is directed toward your children, both your own kids and the kids you minister too? I have and just recently! My oldest daughter (soon to be 13) will be leaving my preteen ministry and entering into the Jr. High ministry at our church. She has been a part of my ministry for two years and is the first of my own kids to be in an area of ministry that I was over. I remember when she was a young girl of about 5 or 6 and my youth group (From a previous church ministry) would love on her and spoil her with all the attention that a youth minister's daughter gets. She has just started to voice her feelings that she is ready to get out of our preteen ministry, it seems that it is becoming old news to her. Now, she is moving on and entering a new phase of her walk with Jesus. Her new journey! She is exiting her preteen years better than I ever did.

My son on the other hand will turn 10 in a few weeks and there is something new on the horizon for him, he will be entering into my area of ministry at our church. he is excited about the new journey before him. He is entering into his preteen years better than I ever did.

Huh, "Something old and something new!"

Joe

2006-03-10T19:07:00.000-06:00

This past weekend, our children's ministry team went on a tour of a church and then we attended a children's ministry workshop conference. While touring the church, I was able to ask our tour guide about his church's preteen ministry. I asked questions about their check-in and pick-up process, their program format, such as if it is small group/large group format, do they use a preaching format, what type of worship do they have, and etc... Afterwards, our team reflected upon what we learned from our tour of the church and it's various ministries to children: what I came away with was not new programming or format ideas (most of what they do, we already did, do, or are thinking about doing); instead, it was a realization and confirmation that much of preteen ministry has to do with transition.

Much of what I gleaned from the church (Whom I have tremendous respect for) was their goal of providing an environment for preteens that not only ministered to them now, but more importantly provided an atmosphere of anticipation for the next level or the next step of the journey! Even in our own preteen ministry, we strive to not only turn all preteens into fully mature followers of Jesus, but we also seek to help prepare them for the next level, or transition in their walk with Jesus. Transition is huge in a preteen's life. If Barna's statistics (See - Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions) are right, the preteen age is not only a very important time in a person's life, particularlly when it comes to the decisions they make in establishing their moral and spiritual foundation, but many of them don't make that transition into adolescence (Give or take about 40%). They drop out and are more than likely to not return! What are your thoughts on this, what steps do you take in helping preteens make that next transition? Or, does preteen ministry have anything to do with transition?

Keep it real in Christ,
Joe

2006-02-07T20:07:00.000-06:00

Recently, my family welcomed a new addition - a puppy! While the puppy is for the whole family, it's really under the care and ownership of my oldest daughter. After watching my daughter take care of the puppy these past few weeks, I noticed something about my 6th grade daughter that has seemed to slip past me - She is growing up! She's becoming a caring and responsible young woman, who is growing and experiencing life right before my eyes. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes I don't, and other times tears well-up in my eyes, because I don't want her to grow-up.
This year she will 13 and taking another step in life's journey (Jr. High); time sure seems to pass by really fast! The preteen years are here for only a split second and then "puff their gone" - Yet it is this twinkle in the circle of life that are some of the most important to the very being of a person. This is true physically, academically, emotionally, psychologically, morally, and most importantlly - spiritually. Spirituality affects all of these areas and becomes the foundation on which all these other areas rest. It takes time, albeit, urgent time to teach and mold a preteen into the person that God created them to be. The molding is done by the Holy Spirit, but the teaching is done by us - the parent(s), the minister, the small group leader, the Sunday school teacher, the grandma or grandpa, the key important adult! There are no easy how too's, no formulas, no easy button - it just takes time and patience.
Time sure seems to pass by really fast - Spend as much time as possible with your kids and don't let it slip past you!

2006-01-25T07:26:00.000-06:00

One of the biggest statements made by the preteens that I minister to is - "I'm hungry, do we get snacks?" Preteens love to eat and having snacks are a big part of their day. Many kids come Sunday mornings without having had breakfast and many more come to our midweek programming without eating dinner (and if they did eat, they still want and need their snacks) What does a situation like this do to a learning enviroment - well it hinders the learning enviroment! Preteens can't focus on teaching points, because they are not feeling well, or they are constantly interupting you with questions about snacks, or "when class is over, so that I can go home to eat"statement. They become irritable and grouchy. Hunger is a huge felt need for this age group.

Solution? Well for us, providing snacks for the amount of 5th and 6th graders that we see every week is not possible. So what we did was create the "Preteen Canteen". The Preteen Canteen is where our preteens (Jr. highers and High schoolers are also coming to our Canteen) can buy snacks items to help curb their hunger pains. Prices are reasonable (most items are .25 and nothing is over .50) and there is a one dollar spending limit. The Preteen Canteen is open on Wednesday nights for about 20 minutes (beginning 10 minutes before our hour begins and 10 minutes into the hour). This gives preteens plenty of time to get and eat their snacks before large group time begins. The Canteen is also open on Sunday mornings for about 15 minutes before our preteen worship hour. While we would like to have it open for all three Sunday morning services, it is not possible, so we decided to open it during the service hour that has the most hang-out time for our preteens. I have one adult in charge of the Canteen, with a rotation of hand picked 5th and 6th graders helping out in a limited role on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. Some basic rules for the Canteen are: 1. Pick up after yourself 2. No eating when worship service or large group time starts 3. It's up to your small group leader to allow you to eat during small group time. If any of these are violated in large scale incidences, we close the Canteen for a determined time.

One of the things that we decided in the beginning was that the Preteen Canteen was not going to exist for profit.The purpose of the Canteen is to be one of the ministry tools of "The Edge" (Our preteen ministry), not a money maker, and if we did make a profit (Which we do and you will), the money would go to the missionaries that our preteen ministry supports. What we have done for budget reasons, is to include our "The Edge" t-shirt sales into the Canteen budget, so that together they are self-supporting. You can also use the snacks from the Canteen for other ideas, such as prize give-aways. We hold drawings with our computer check-in name tags on Wednesday nights and winners get to pick something from the Canteen. Also, on the last Wednesday night of the month, previous winners are put into a large drawing and 1st prize is a prize card that is worth five .50 trips to the Canteen (it's cool because the cards are hole-punched after each visit) and a "The Edge" t-shirt.

Hope this helps
Joe

2005-11-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my new blog (Formally known as JOE SEZ). The "Preteen Edge" is a spin-off of the ministry to preteens at Christ's Church of Oronogo (www.ccochurch.com). Our preteen ministry is called "The Edge" because preteens are on the edge of kiddieland and teenland. I know many people refer to preteens as tweeners, middlers, etc... However I don't like to refer to preteens in this way, because those terms make it seem like they are stuck and not moving and are going nowhere - that they are just there existing (Which does not come close to describing 5th grade boys!). On the contrary; preteens have and are moving! The life of a preteen is constantly moving and transitioning; physically, emotionally, socially, and most important - spiritually (I know; I was once a preteen and currently a dad of two preteens)!

With this blog, my goal is to use it as an informative tool to both the parents and preteens that I minister too, as well as using it as a resource tool for those of us who minister to preteens and their families. This will be accomplished by the use of stories from my life, from my ministry, and the community abroad. At times, there will be resource tools posted on this blog, such as other preteen ministry sites, curriculum, parent helps, and anything else that will be helpful to preteens, parents, and fellow preteen workers.

For more information about our ministry to preteens, checkout our website at www.ccopreteens.com.

Keep it real in Christ
Joe